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Although it is more than likely that the trauma of your two (!!!) childhood rapes triggers an involuntary cringing at even the idea of being penetrated. Not at all. But I think that getting some professional guidance FIRST is a good idea. But I will say that the insomnia and paranoia and inability to be in a relationship (you soooo deserve to be living your first big LOVE at 18) show that something is still haunting you. I can totally relate to your statement "I don't know what I'm looking for." We know what we're feeling and experiencing something odd that is keeping us from fully living our lives, especially our beautiful healthy sex lives. As long as you know you are truly loved, go for it. Find out that amazing pornstars with hypnotizing forms are riding hard cocks in full-length videos. Here you will find experienced older women, streaming live while going down on themselves with pleasure devices or their fingers.

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